NWNR side story: trading mates
by Tapangwa
Summary: a random little side story i wrote. for Capra hircus. the title should say all that needs to be said! rated M just to be safe


Tapan: Looks what I did/shoved the fic in Torna's face/ LOOK!

Torna/pushes it away/ I know, I was there when you wrote it /smirks/ but I'm sure Jhonen would LOVE to read it.

Tapan: oh, okay! Jho—

Jhkitty: I don't wanna read the next piece of shit you wrote about MY creations. It sickens me so.

Tapan: hmph! Fine!

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I never will, ever. And that makes me sad. You see, when I was a little girl I've always wanted a pony. But my dad said "no" so I cried. And that is the reason I don't own Zim.

Warning: oh, where do I begin? Implied ZADR among other things. If you didn't read New World New Rules, this story probably won't make sense to you, so please read that before this. For those who read my other story, this adds a new…. twist on the story. (This story will, in no way, effect the plot of NWNR. It's just harmless fun.)

DEDICATION: this fic is made for Capre Hircus. You could call it a late birthday present. Or you could say not and just read it!

* * *

Dib sat in front of his counterpart's computer, searching her files with much experience. His thoughts, however, were not on the files he was searching throw. Instead, he focused on the past events and on the people he met.

Sighing, he rested his head on his hand as he continued to click through the virtual folders.

He continued this until he heard someone behind him.

Calmly, he turned to see Deb in the doorway, staring at him with an unreadable expression. He blinked then smiled at her, slightly nervous.

Her eyes changed from blank to puzzled as she got closer and sat herself on the bed. He followed her, his nervous smile fading.

"I want to try something," her voice made him jump a little, "and I don't want you to be shocked." She got closer to him, her glasses sliding to the brim of her nose. "Will you let me?"

Curious to see where this would go, he nodded. "Okay, sure." The next second he felt her lips on his. "Mrph!" his surprised grunt gave enough of a gap in his lips to let her tongue in.

His eyes widened. Grabbing her by the shoulder, he pulled away. "What are you doing?"

She looked at him, an emotion in her eyes that he's only seen her use for her irken mate. "I wanna make you a man."

" What?" His eyes opened impossibly wide as she jumped him, knocking him out of the chair.

((Tam's lab))

"ZIM!"

"WHAT?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"WHY DO YOU CARE?"

"I DON'T! WHAY ARE WE SCREAMING?"

"I DONNO, WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"DO ME ON THE FLOOR, NOW!"

The male irken dropped whatever he was looking at, ignoring the sickening crack it made as it hit the floor. After a moment, he turned to his double and chuckled. "I knew you couldn't resist my beauty!"

She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Are ya gonna do me or not?"

"Of course." He stated as a matter of fact. "Because I, the mighty ZIM, love you, the mighty TAM!"

"Oh Zim." Her eyes shimmered as she threw her arms around her counterpart. "I love you too! Let us forget the Deb and the Dib and run off to make beautiful smeet together!"

"Uh, lets just settle for a one night stand for now and see how we feel in the morning." Because, after all, Zim still loved the man-gina!

She paused. "Your idea sounds good too. Lets go for it!" then they began to make out.

((Meanwhile))

Dib had finally settled for actually seeing how this could to turn out, both for science and, well, he was making out with a GIRL! Who cared if it was technically him?

Does that mean if they had sex, it would count as masturbation?

Such thoughts from the disturbingly perverted writer did not affect Dib, as he was wondering how much of him has change in this dimension.

Both humans shared similar thoughts. /my personality isn't completely like her's/his, what else could be different? DNA, maybe? I guess it wouldn't hurt to see. /

So they pulled at each other's hair, causing both of them to yelp at the same time.

Deb rubbed her head. "Did you just pull on my hair?"

The Boy sat in the same manner as her. "Of course not! It must've been a mosquito! Did you pull on mine?"

She glared. "Who do you think I am? It was probably a bee!"

"Oh, okay." The sat in silence for a moment.

Before continuing to make out.

((Tam's Base))

Clothes, now thrown on the floor, were obviously the least of the invaders' worries at the moment. Right now, they were too into each other to even realize anything. The entire base could be on fire and they wouldn't get up from their sexual pleasures.

But enough of my rant, now it's time for irken orgasm sounds.

The moans echoed throughout the base, even GIR could hear them. The little robot just looked around, yelled at the eerie monkey behind him, and turned up the scary monkey on the TV.

Deep in the bowels of the lab, they could care less what the SIR unit was up to.

"OH ZIM! YES!" noises of bodies against the metal floor were heard to accompany the moan and groans of pleasure.

The sound beat increased and became violent as they grew closer and closer to climax. "Oh, TAM!"

Zim collapsed next to the female invader, breathless and satisfied.

Tam smiled and looked at her counterpart. "I need a cigarette."

((Membrane house))

Gim walked down the hall, game slave in hand (A/N: shocker, there.) he paused as he heard moaning come from his sister's room.

The first image to pop into his head was the two counterparts lying on the ground, bloody and in pain. He smirked at the idea. Did the computer explode and sent shards into their heads? Did they get on each other's nerves and try to kill each other?

Did he dare look in to find out?

With a delightfully evil gleam in his eye, he walked up to the door. Slowly, he started to coax the doorknob open, smirk full of malice.

But then he made a crucial mistake.

He opened the door the rest of the way

"JEEZUS CHRIST!" he covered his eyes, claws turned in to gouge out the image. "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" he ran out of the room, screaming.

The two older "siblings" paused for the moment, and watched Gim run for his life, slamming the door behind.

Dib turned his attention back to the woman currently mounting his naked body. "Maybe we should make sure he's alright."

Deb shook her head and trusted her hips, getting a moan from the boy beneath her. "He'll get over it." And so, they continued.

((Gim))

The younger boy ran down stairs into the kitchen, after about a half an hour of emptying his stomach into the toilet.

In the kitchen, his mother was making TOAST. She paused as she heard her son come in and another loud moan from upstairs.

"Oh, hello son. Did you check in on your sister? Is she and her counterpart alright?"

Gim made a sickened noise.

The scientist turned to the sound. "What's wrong?"

The younger sibling spun around, his eyes wide and frightened. " They're having SEX mom! SEX!" he shuddered and hugged himself as if he were cold.

Membrane blinked. "Oh, so they are doing the same as I." she chuckled. "Those were some good times."

"WHAT?"

She continued with the toast. "Uh-huh. In fact, that's how Deb was born." She paused and looked up, thoughtful. "Maybe THAT'S the reason she has so many mental disorders."

The mother turned around, only to see her son was gone.

The said boy was running out of the house and down the street, arms flailing. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FAMILY?"

* * *

Tapan: wasn't that fun! It was so wrong, but oh-so fun to write! XD I feel sorry for Gim at the end. Just a little, because I love the thought of man-Gaz running from the Membrane house, screaming bloody murder. Anyways, THE END! I hope you liked it, Goat! 


End file.
